by Cosmo Lee

The title of Hanzel und Gretyl’s latest album, “Scheissmessiah,” translates to “Shit Messiah.” Of course, that sounds better in German – and that could be HUG’s motto: “Sounds better in German (TM).” A New York-based duo with a penchant for Teutonic lyrics, HUG bring a sorely-needed sense of humor to industrial music. While “Scheissmessiah” is full of headbanging riffs a la KMFDM or Ministry, classical music samples and general cheekiness abound, culminating in an awesomely cheesy cover of Handel’s “Messiah.” If all those German lyrics (and the random song in Greek) throw you, check out HUG’s website (hanzelundgretyl.com) for translations. There’s something immensely satisfying about a song with “Fuck you with fire” as a chorus.

Loopy and Vas Kallas answer some questions about fire, glowsticks, and other scheisse.

The first five proper songs on “Scheissmessiah” either have “fire” in the title or are about fire. What’s with the fire fetish?
Vas Kallas: Since we were falling into the bowels of Hell, we might as well describe our immediate environment. Fire! Fire! Fire!
Loopy: The first five songs also have the word “scheisse” or “shit” in it too! Fire and shit! Maybe it’s just our crap diet.

Nice. And since humor is so important to Hanzel und Gretyl, how ironic is the metal element? That “Into the Fire” chorus in “Kaiser von Shizer” is straight out of Metallica.
Vas: Didn’t even realize that was from Metallica, come to think of it, how uberlly metal of us.
Loopy: Yeah, that riff is so “and scheisse for all”...or was it the brown album?

Woody Allen once said, “I can’t listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.” What’s your take on Wagner?
Vas: Woody Allen should join Hanzel und Gretyl, oh, wait a minute, he already is in Hanzel und Gretyl. Getting back to Wagner, his music is very inspiring, majestic and cartoonish.
Loopy: (laughs) He also said that his grandfather was shot and killed in the war by a Polish conscientious objector! In Woody Allen’s, “Manhattan Murder Mystery” Alan Alda’s character says “Comedy is tragedy + time”. Wagner, a well noted anti-semite who’s operas inspired Hitler in his adolescence, is now used in jest to sell household products where angry scrubbing bubbles or a cascading minty tsunami wipe out every germ in sight to “Flight of the Valkyries”. My take on Wagner is the same as Woody’s or Listerine’s. Yesterday’s tragic ideology is today’s mouthwash commercial!

All that trance in industrial music now, can goths and glowsticks go together?
Vas: Please make it stop! I personally cannot get into the techno side of the “goth” scene. When I do end up in such a club listening to this stuff, I feel like I’m spending a night at the Roxbury disco in Hell. Yuck. Goth should be cool, dark, romantic, experimental, emotional, cosmic and spiritual. Und metal!
Loopy: Yeah but with glowsticks!

Your last album, “Uber Alles” had distribution problems in Europe due to the artwork. Has “Scheissmessiah” encountered anything similar? How has it been received in Europe?
Vas: Yes, the pointy SS’s in “Scheissmessiah” artwork were banned because the Germans thought it referred to the SS. Okay, so then we gave them artwork with normal SS’s and then their next excuse for banning us was that our CD was anti-religious? And I’m not joking. How can anyone live in a country that sensors such miniscule things? And by the way, our CD is not anti-religious last time I checked. How does Marilyn Manson, or Rammstein, or even Laibach get away with their over-the-top imagery, and an underground band like Hanzel und Gretyl from the USA gets banned? The Germans are way too sensitive and I think it’s about time they lighten up and smell the bratwurst! We look at things artistically, while some, like the Germans, keep searching for things that are politically incorrect, where it does not exist.
Loopy: I don’t think we’re treated any different than other bands with what Germany deems as questionable content. Even Kiss had the same problem and they don’t even have one song in German. Although “Ich Wanna Rock und Roll all nacht und party every tag!” would be tha shizer!

Last year, you toured with Ministry and My Life With The Thrill Kult. No doubt mayhem ensued. What’s the best memory you have from the tour?
Vas: Too many memories, and too many blackouts. I will never forget the first night we all met. Before we even did one show, Al (Jourgensen of Ministry) insisted we all sit at the hotel bar and drink in the afternoon, which turned into evening, which turned into a massive “everyone jump in the pool party with all your clothes on” (and all the pool furniture). Someone smashed a window and someone broke a toilet and someone got off on pool jet #9. Miraculously we survived and did our first show the next night with Ministry. There was also the fond memory of Al stage diving off the stage somewhere in Canada while we were playing “Mein Kommandant” and then getting beat up by security who had no idea who he was. That was priceless.
Loopy: In Vancouver, Al walked off stage while the band was still raging (there is NO louder band than Ministry). He gave me a sweaty ass hug and said ‘I love you guys.” then went back out into the loudness to destroy. I felt like that kid in that coke commercial with Mean Joe Green.

hanzelundgretyl.com

2004 “Scheissmessiah” (Metropolis)
2003 “Uber Alles” (Metropolis)
1997 “Transmissions from Uranus” (Energy)
1995 “Ausgeflippt” (Energy)