Machine Head frontman Robb Flynn has announced a special 50th birthday show at the Oakland Metro on July 22, 2017.
His band has issued a statement in regards to the event:
“Yes ladies and gentlemen, this July our fearless leader Robb Flynn will officially be a Quinquagenarian?!
“- In Led Zeppelin terms, that’s halfway up the stairway to heaven!
– In fact, at 50, he’ll spend more time trimming his nose hair than his head hair!
– Hell, the best form of birth control for Robb at this is point, is nudity!
– At 50, he’s entered the Stone Age… gall, kidney, and bladder.
– He’s seen it all, done it all… but can’t remember most of it!
– That’s right, his back goes out more than he does!
– Turning 50 means he’s so old that “doing it three times a night” is how many times Robb get’s up to pee!
– At 50 he’s stiff in all the places he doesn’t want to be, and needs a pill to get stiff in the places he does!
– Christ, his wild oats have just turned to porridge!
“Ba Da Bing!
“In honor of the inglorious occasion, the youthfully challenged yet chronologically gifted frontman will be celebrating with a concert performance on Saturday, July 22nd at The Metro Operahouse in Oakland, CA. and features a cavalcade of D-List rockstars, has-been’s, and never-was’s, such as Fuckin’ Joe Cabral and Robb himself.
“The debaucherous, alcohol-drenched event will likely be viewed by future generations as “the greatest show of all-time”, and is sure to make him an official charter member for the “Old Farts Hall of Fame”!
“He only turns half-a-century this year, don’t miss this once in a lifetime event!
“Tickets go on sale this Friday at noon California time.”