Review: Barbara Ann

Barbara Ann
“Ode to My Freaks”
(Wind Swept)

Before you jump online looking for photos of Barbara Ann because she looks good on the CD cover, don’t bother because I already checked it out and she’s no Debbie Harry, which really isn’t much of a problem because musically she’s not even Dirty Harry.  With only three chords on her guitar and about two (maybe three) notes in her larynx, Barbara Ann is capable of making the most annoying punk you’ve ever heard.  What makes that statement even more amazing is the fact that Greg Hetson of Bad Religion contributed a few licks on the guitar, while Ryan Greene (NOFX, Lagwagon, Strung Out) produced this piece of garbage.  An all too tragically true example of Barbara Ann’s stellar songwriting ability can be gleaned from the lovely song “Head”, where Barbara repeats the phrase, “I just gotta get it through your head” six times in succession before bursting into, and I am not making this up, twenty-seven consecutive “yeahs”.  She does this multiple times on the track, making “Head” my nominee for Worst Song of the Year.  Sure, it’s got some competition from anything Limp Bizkit, Busta Rhymes, or Creed might have put out this year, but I’m putting my money on Barbara to bring home the hardware.