Review: Pansy Division

Pansy Division
“Total Entertainment!”
(Alternative Tentacles)

Pansy Division is getting older and so is their music. “Total Entertainment!” is the seventh full-length album  from this group of gay rockers and it is the most mature. In the family of PD albums this one is definitely the oldest sibling who is always home on time. 1998’s Absurd Pop Song Romance was the peak for the boys of PD. Total Entertainment is near the same sound, but not as strong.

The playful lyrics are not as plentiful, but the pop sound is everywhere. The departure from playful lyrics isn’t a negative though. “Why do I feel so stupid if I’m so damn smart? Things I can’t control, control my heart,” from “Saddest Song” is a simple line, but it has a lot more to say than the lyrics to “Ring of Joy.” But don’t think this older brother can’t get himself off. He definitely has some porno stashed under his bed. “Alpine Skiing” explains the proper technique for giving two guys a “ski” job at once.

The best song on the album is the countrified “He Whipped my Ass in Tennis…” This is the old PD rearing (no pun intended) its cute head. “He whipped my ass in tennis then I fucked his ass in bed… So we whipped and fucked and fucked and whipped and whipped and fucked and fucked whipped,” and so the story goes until finally the one getting his ass kicked in tennis practices enough to win a game. His reward? You can figure it out. Probably not a song that would ever grace a Toby Keith album, but this is the only way country sounds good to me.

The genres throughout “Total Entertainment!” span from garage, fuzz, country, pop and so on down the musical gauntlet. Under their blatant sexual lyrics are the feelings all of us go through in a relationship. Even “He Whipped my Ass in Tennis…” teaches people to never give up. If you practice long and hard enough you can whip anyone’s ass.

So whether you’re a member of the Lamda Alliance or a card carrying straight guy, Pansy Division can find a place in your sexually active musical library.