Review: The Banner

The Banner
“Your Murder Mixtape”
(Blackout / Brightside)

The Banner beat me to the punch.  I would have described this album as the perfect listening material for stalking, killing and skinning prey.  But by calling it “Your Murder Mixtape”, The Banner took the fun out of all the witty anecdotes I was planning on making.  So I guess I’ll have to talk about their music.  They open with “Zombie Onslaught”, which is about a man’s love for his woman.  He loves her so much he brings her back to life as a zombie and pretty much dooms the world.  But zombie or not, this guy is in love.  “Those light green eyes, those pale white thighs,” sounds like the description of an angel, even if she is an angel that will eat your brain.  Every song is an ode to all things scary, bloody or bound with duct tape.  Two lines in “Black Duct Tape” sum up the feelings of The Banner: “You’d think with all the shit she talked she’d be a better fighter.  You’d think with all the blood she lost, the body would be lighter.”  The Banner is out to get anyone who opposes them.  This homicidal hardcore unit from New Jersey is leaving a wake of blood in their path while fans of horror movies flock to any stage they grace.  As a disclaimer: Modern Fix does not endorse the killing of anyone, unless there is a really good reason.  If there is a really good reason, don’t tell the cops we endorsed it.