Modern Fix

black shifties by Zack Wentz

Q: So how long have you been a woman?
A: Slow down, cutie pie. You’re gonna have to buy me another drink before we get into that. I’m not cheap. Do I look cheap?
Q: No. No, not at all. I’m sorry. What’ll you have?
A: Another Scotch. Tell Junior the good stuff. No skimping. You hear me, Junior?
Q: Alright . . . Alright. No problem. A Scotch for the lady here, please. Your best stuff. Ice?
A: No thanks. They make it out of tap water here and frankly, honey, it fucks with my insides. More>> i woke up on the ceiling today by Brian Greenaway

I woke up on the ceiling today. Again. Normally, it’s something that doesn’t bother me, but today was different. Early this morning a mouse had gotten inside of the heater, shorting it out and killing itself in the process. That is, the mouse was shorted out and the heater was killed. Poor heater, it was the best one I ever had. Anyway, the ceiling was unusually cold and I woke up with a kink in my neck. More>> life’s a drag, a real king-sized drag by Richard Ellis

Breaking up is hard to do, especially in Mexico. She cheated on him, I heard, although I know neither her name nor his. She cheated on him, as I said, and as is custom with such things, he broke off with her. More>> fairies wear boots by Richard Ellis

It started as opportunism, capitalizing on another’s mistake.

Not the most decent way to go, but there had been a rough go of it for the past eight months, and I was looking bad. I weighed the day’s options, my back to the wall. The options didn’t look too good. The best one was to keep leaning against the bricks and trying to come up with better options. A passer-by dropped a dollar bill at my feet without any other gesture or eye contact. But it was deliberate. I saw the intent in his action. Sometimes it happens. A dollar? More>> this is your new life by Richard Ellis

He slipped down the side of the embankment and the three men were upon him. A busted off wine bottle severed the webbing between thumb and forefinger. The tip of a tin plated pointy toed cowboy boot splintered a rib. He can hear the river, feel the moisture on the grass, a cricket hops by his nose. Cricket leg barbs. Soil odor. Taste of blood. Such are the things noticed. One of the men works a branch off a tree. The suicide impulse slowly leaks away, but the urge to fight is probably useless now with odds of a healthy three against a bleeding and broken boned one. More>> she’s got legs by Rick Ellis

This begins upon waking. It begins with the childish cry of alarm number one. Alarm one is slapped into submission. Alarm numero dos dreams of screaming and then does. Richard fully awakens and shuts the damn thing off. For a quarter minute he writhes on the bed in the agony of morning, then turns his body to set both feet upon the floor, but they do not set. They should have reached the floor by now, but Richard thinks nothing of it. It is early and the hangover is horrible. After a brief drop his bare testicles smash flat against the floor. His stomach flips and crawls up into his mouth and back down. More>> flies on shit by Rick Ellis

There are many flies and one fly says, “Man, this is excellent. This, this is the real stuff.”

Another fly says, “You got that right. Good thing we got it too. I only have a few more hours left on the old ticker. I gotta lay me some maggots down before I fly out of this life. Mm, this is fine.”

“ He was a drinker. I like them when they’re drinkers. The aroma cuts through all that other shit, heady and robust” More>>