Review: The Tender Idols

The Tender Idols
(E-magine Entertainment Inc.)

Have you heard about those new cars that Honda is making?  Supposedly, they run so cleanly that the air that comes out of them is actually cleaner than it was on the way in.  Amazing, huh?  The Tender Idols obviously employ a similar strategy on their new CD “Distressor”-take a bunch of crappy pop-tunes and throwaway tracks by big stars that are polluting the airwaves and try to refine them into something better.  Does it work?  I dunno.  While just about every one of the fourteen tracks reminded me of something by Morrissey, U2, Tom Petty, or Aerosmith at their worst-try as I might I just couldn’’t hate the damn thing.  Maybe it’s Ian Webber’s haunting, British vocals.  Maybe it’s the effortless way they rip-off these other bands.  Maybe it’s “Fighting”, a Radiohead influenced fuzzy, distorted masterpiece.  Maybe it’s because The Tender Idols are from Georgia and any band that has a black bass player from that backwards ass state can’t be all bad.  Or maybe it’s because I’m sitting on the beach and it’s 80 degrees and it’s too sunny outside to be mad about anything.