Doctors Perform First Successful Penis Transplant

They had to use those microscopes because yours was so small.... bazing!

They had to use those microscopes because yours was so small…. bazing!

Covering their faces in shame… these are the doctors responsible for the worlds first successful penis transplant. Don’t they look proud of themselves? They should…

Considering the amount of risky lawnmower sex I engage in, this is reassuring news.

The operation took place on Dec 11, 2o14, by a team of doctors from Stellenbosch University and Tygerberg Hospital in Cape Town, South Africa. The doctors waited awhile to see how the patient ‘recovered’ before announcing their success. That is code for waiting to see if he could have sex. Lots and lots of dirty sex.

The nine-hour operation was carried out on an unidentified 21-year old who had to have his own penis amputated after a botched circumcision.

Why is a 21 year old getting circumcised? That is obviously a cover story for a pissed off girlfriend, a knife, and a severe disagreement over Game of Thrones.

But in all seriousness, it is a cultural and religious hangup in that region of the world. Unfortunately, the practice is an extremely sensitive medical procedure being performed in an area where these traditions result in hundreds of deaths and infections on an annual basis.

But in this case, the patient has regained all urinary, reproductive and sexual functions with his new penis.

The hospital looked to medical teams that have performed sensitive facial transplant surgery.

“We used the same type of microscopic surgery to connect small blood vessels and nerves, and the psychological evaluation of patients was also similar,” said André van der Merwe, a professor and head of Stellenbosch University’s division of urology, said in a press statement.

This was the second time surgeons attempted such a surgery and the first time it was successful.

The first penis transplant was labeled unsuccessful. Despite her beautiful voice.

The first penis transplant was labeled unsuccessful. Despite her beautiful voice.

 

Last we saw, lines of small wanged men were lining up outside hospitals looking for an upgrade.

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Dedicated to the patients speedy recovery and a bright future in porn.