Review: Bleeding Through

Bleeding Through
“Portrait of the Goddess”
(Indecision Records)

The new Lord of the Rings movie just came out.  I haven’t seen it yet but I seriously can’t wait.  I’m not a Dungeons and Dragons dork or anything, I just think those are rad books and I’m stoked on the movies, too.  I think the Orcs would like Bleeding Through.  I have several reasons for this statement.  First of all, Brandan Schieppati’s guttural vocals have a lot in common with the Orcs savagely throaty language.  When watching the movie I felt like the Orcs would be spitting phlegm up constantly and I’ve got a feeling our buddy Brandan must be doing the same thing between takes in the studio.

Secondly, the bone crushing metal mayhem produced by the six other members of Bleeding Through would be great background music for the Orcs while they made all those swords and helmets and stuff in their underground fortress thing.  The churning and spasmodic tracks would assault their ears with tortured wails, and destructiveness would take over their simple minds as their lust for man-flesh would grow.  Also, like the Orcs, the music on “Portrait of a Goddess” is pretty straightforward and one-dimensional.  Obviously, if you’re an Orc you should rush out of your hole, kill some Hobbits or Elves and buy this record.  If you’re not an Orc then you’re probably better off just buying something by Justin Timberlake or maybe even John Tesh.  They like man-flesh, too.