Review: Bottles and Skulls

Bottles and Skulls
“Never Kiss the Wasp”
(Cheetah’s Records)

There’s good punk that gets your blood flowing and your mind wandering and then there’s Bottles and Skulls, who swap yelling and innuendo for sustenance and cohesion.  With such witty lyrics as, “I like you, you’re so hot / Let’s take it to the parking lot / An obscene figurine / I don’t know what the fuck that means” it’s pretty clear that songwriting isn’t the forte of the band.  Rest assured that the predicable crunching guitars and stock drum solos are available in spades as well.  There might not be one original note on the entire nine-track release and if there is, it’s only original in the bad way, like that movie “Slingblade”.  Everyone loved that movie and I thought it was the most boring film ever, but I’ve got a feeling nobody will enjoy “Never Kiss the Wasp” at all.  Unless, of course, you happen to be deaf or something.  Maybe then you wouldn’t yawn yourself to the point of lockjaw listening to such inanities as, “Oh my God, that girl is a mess / She got tiny puke stains on her dress”.  Really, why bother to even include lyrics if they’re that bad?  Why not just sing really fast and keep ’em all guessing?  A quick suggestion for their next record: don’t.