Review: Texas Terri and the Stiff Ones

Texas Terri and the Stiff Ones
““Eat Shit +1””
(Junk Records)

A drowsy and sultry female vocal saunters over a relaxed rock riff that grows with menace until the tempo kicks up two steps and the that sultry drowsiness is replaced by a huff of coke and a shrieking rasp.   That’s how you’re introduced to Texas Terri and the Stiff Ones on the first music track on Eat Shit +1, Lifetime Problems.  I find most critics like to compare Texas Terri and her band of stiff ones to Iggy Pop and his Stooges.  That’s what most critics say, “A female Iggy Pop.”  I disagree.  The statement assumes time is linear and that Iggy Pop isn’t simply the male version of Texas Terri.  (Oh, fuck you too, pal!  I’m the fucking music critic here so piss off.  I don’t care if you think I’m retarded.)  As the title of the album suggests, Eat Shit +1 is a re-release of Eat Shit except there is one more song on it (Women Should be Wilder) that didn’t appear on the original release.  Eat Shit has also been remastered, but I can’t hear the difference (Yes, I do own the original), but then again I have tin ear drums and shouldn’’t be reviewing music in the first place. There are some very nice contrapuntal arrangements between Texas Terri’s vocals and Demon Boy’s stripped down nasty-boy glamour-punk riffings that help drive the album along at a brisk and suitably trashy pace.  Some, if not most of the songs, suffer from a paper-thin production.  In other words, the sound is more like a q-tip in the ass than a big angry dick, and I know that’s what all you fags out there want right?  Big monster music critic cock straight up your puckered little fancy fan-boy chuters.  You’re asking for it pansy!